I grew up as a chubby kid and was most often scared to talk to people. I didn’t like how I looked, who I was or how much I was reminded of how “different” I was from my 11 other siblings. I felt self conscious from a young age for being “bigger” in comparison and was constantly teased for how much food I ate. Food was a form of comfort for me for awhile as it was the one way I felt accepted. I felt different than my peers in middle school, which made me feel as if something was wrong with me and how I looked. I started starving myself, limiting myself to one choice of a snack per day or no food at all. At the time, I thought those calories were the difference between how much weight I would lose. If I got through the day without eating anything, I was overjoyed and proud- a feeling I didn’t often feel for myself. Middle school Molly kept thinking, “ok, if I lose a little weight and look more like the other girls in my class, maybe people will accept me.” When truthfully, I was accepted all along but it was up to me to start that and be able to see it for myself.

I found my confidence in high school when I found working out. My superman of a dad inspired me to take more time for myself by becoming more active, saying it could improve my mood. I began running every morning before school and it completely changed my life. Running turned into dancing, and dancing through life gave me confidence to join sports and talk to anyone anywhere I went. I started to love the way it made me feel, which in turn helped me to discover confidence within myself. I began to live for sports, my early morning runs and was more comfortable eating now, while working out too. Although my new found confidence was great and on the outside made me feel as if I lived a healthy lifestyle, I now tied the amount of food I ate to working out.

For years I struggled to find a balance and made going to the gym a requirement, should I want to enjoy other areas of my life. When I got to college I couldn’t help but spend hours in the gym. I would workout twice a day, mostly for up to 3 hours at a time. At this time, I felt like I was in the best shape I had ever been, even if only on the outside. In turn, I ate mostly whatever I wanted and continued to “balance” it out with the gym. There are ways to eat what you want to but trading it for hours at the gym did not have to be one of them. I was then in a car accident, which left me bed ridden and in a wheelchair. Unable to walk or workout now, I had trouble finding any type of balance with my food or life. Bed ridden for nearly five months, I lost a lot of muscle and had to learn how to walk again. My relationship with food and working out became questionable and left me wondering how I could ever obtain my goals. With the stress that came with adjusting back to life and figuring out what balance now meant to me, I one day woke up to being over 200 lbs and not knowing what to do or how I really got there. I knew I didn’t feel like myself and I was determined to get back to a version of me that did. Here is what began my true fitness journey, one to support the best Molly I can be.

I am now 40 pounds down and aspire to be the strongest version of myself, inside and out. I continue to show up for myself, in turn to show others how they can also do the same. I believe life to be about celebrating ourselves more often, which involves feeling good within your own skin. I now have more goals focused around body building, and now couldn’t dream of limiting myself in the ways I once did. I maintain an even higher calorie diet now as I work to put on muscle. Although nearly the same weight now as I was when I began my fitness journey, I not only have far more muscle mass but feel as an entirely new Molly. Stay tuned for all that’s in store!